Do you know how to negotiate? You may not be very good at negotiating, but you can become a master negotiator like a seasoned attorney!
There are 4 key psychological strategies that are guaranteed to give you the edge. Whether you negotiate a business deal, a salary, or a personal agreement, these winning strategies will help you achieve your goals and come out on top.
Reciprocity – Invest in Winning
The first principle is Reciprocity. Reciprocity works on the idea that people feel compelled to return favors. But how does this work when you negotiate?
Example in Practice: Start by offering something of value. This could be information, a concession, or even a small gesture of goodwill that benefits the other party. For instance, offer food, drink, or even just a stick of gum at the outset.
In a legal setting, you might provide a draft agreement with some terms that are favorable to them or a heads-up on an area you’re flexible with. This way, you initiate a give-and-take dynamic, encouraging them to reciprocate when it’s time to compromise; especially when it comes to those areas that truly care about.
Why It Works: Reciprocity taps into a social norm that most people feel obligated to follow. This principle is especially helpful when you’re at an impasse or need a bit of goodwill to move the negotiation forward.
Remember, though, the key is to offer something genuine when you negotiate. Empty gestures can backfire, but if your goodwill is genuine, you’ll find that the other party is more willing to meet you halfway, making the whole process more collaborative.
Commitment and Consistency
Once people make a commitment—big or small—they’re psychologically inclined to stick to it to maintain consistency. They don’t mean to do it, but they can’t help it! You can use this principle by getting the other party to agree to small points before moving on to bigger issues.
Example in Practice: Imagine you’re negotiating the sale of a car privately through Craigslist or Facebook Marketplace, start by getting the buyer to agree on smaller aspects first.
For instance, ask if they like the car’s color, interior, fuel efficiency, or safety features. Something. ANYTHING!
Once they agree on some of these smaller elements, they’re subconsciously committing to the car itself. You could say, “Since you’ve mentioned you love the color and the fuel efficiency is ideal, this car is really a perfect match for you.” By getting the buyer to commit to these details, they’re more likely to feel consistent with their initial preferences and agree to a higher price.
On the flip side, if you negotiate the purchase of a car from a dealership, beware of these tactics that they’re likely to use on you.
Why It Works: Humans tend to want to be seen as consistent, especially if they’ve already voiced agreement. This method helps build a framework of agreed-upon terms that can reinforce your arguments on the more complex issues. When people feel they’ve already said “yes” to part of your position, they’re psychologically more likely to support the rest.
The goal here isn’t manipulation; it’s about creating a foundation of trust. By aligning on smaller points, you pave the way for smoother, more collaborative negotiations on the larger items.
Social Proof – Let Others Back You Up
Social Proof leverages the power of influence from others. People tend to look to others to validate their choices, especially in uncertain situations. Remember, people feel safer in the herd. This can be invaluable in negotiations when peer pressure might get the job done.
Example in Practice: When you negotiate a pay raise, you can use social proof by referencing similar positions within the company or industry benchmarks.
For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed that other teachers with similar roles and responsibilities are paid at a higher rate. Based on my experience and contributions, I should be paid similarly.” By showing that others in comparable positions receive higher pay, you’re providing validation for your request. This creates a precedent, making your request feel reasonable and well-supported, while subtly implying that aligning with industry or company standards is fair.
Why It Works: Social proof taps into a powerful psychological drive to conform, especially in situations where we look to others for guidance. When people see that others like them have made similar decisions, they feel safer and more comfortable following suit.
When you negotiate, highlighting similar cases or common practices helps create a sense of normalcy around your terms. But, the social proof loses its effect if you’re easily replaceable.
Scarcity – Get it while you can
The final principle is Scarcity, which capitalizes on the idea that people value things more when they’re limited or rare. When you negotiate, create a sense of urgency or highlight unique advantages to trigger a psychological impulse to act so as to avoid missing out. FOMO is real!
Example in Practice: When making a purchase, use the principle of scarcity to negotiate a better deal by subtly creating urgency. For example, if you’re interested in purchasing a furniture set, mention to the salesperson that you want to make a purchase soon, but you’re also considering a similar model that’s cheaper at a different store.
You could say, “I love this couch, but money is tight and this other store has one for almost 10% cheaper. If you can offer a discount, I’m ready to decide now.” That’s called “walkaway power.” You always want “walkaway power” when you negotiate. By making your purchase something that might disappear soon, you’ve introduced scarcity and encouraged them to act quickly to keep your business.
Why It Works: Scarcity makes options appear more valuable and pushes people to act quickly. This doesn’t mean manufacturing urgency unnecessarily. Instead, use this principle to communicate any legitimate constraints in timing or resources to give the other party a nudge toward action.
Scarcity is especially useful when negotiations are dragging on without a resolution. By emphasizing that the deal may not be as favorable in the future, you encourage the other party to reach an agreement now rather than delay.
Your Next Negotiation
These principles aren’t about manipulation; they’re about making negotiations smoother, more collaborative, and ultimately more effective. As attorneys, we understand the psychology behind why people say “yes,” and create an environment where both parties feel good about the outcome.
And now, you’re ready to take these tips and go negotiate like a lawyer!
–Authored by Matthew L. Harris, Esq.,
Matthew Harris Law, PLLC
1101 Broadway, Lubbock, Texas, 79401-3303
Tel: (806) 702-4852 | Fax: (800) 985-9479