5 Shocking Reasons Men Are Filing for Divorce in 2024

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Have you ever heard of Financial Infidelity? What about Piggybank Syndrome? Did you know that divorce is contagious? I’ve been a Divorce Attorney for over 12 years, and I’ve noticed a trend lately where more men are filing for divorce for these reasons, and some others that you wouldn’t expect.

Since I expect this trend will continue through 2024 (and beyond) let’s discuss the most common reasons first, and then conclude with the craziest reasons.

The Emasculated Husband

When men have finally had enough to file for divorce, one of the most common reasons is because their wives have repeatedly emasculated them.

Emasculation occurs when a Wife’s actions or words undermine her Husband’s sense of masculinity, autonomy, or value, leading to feelings of inadequacy or powerlessness. This can severely impact a man’s self-esteem and the overall health of the marriage.

Here’s how Wives are emasculating their Husbands:

Public Criticism and Humiliation: This is the most common form of emasculation. I’ve had many cases where the Wife criticized her Husband’s decisions, actions, or abilities at social gatherings, in front of friends or family, or on social media. This was incredibly humiliating because it challenged the Husband’s competence and authority. This public disrespect eroded the marital bond, created resentment, and left the Husband feeling alienated.

Overruling Decisions and Undermining Authority: Another form of emasculation is when the Wife overrules the Husband’s decisions or undermine his authority; especially in matters involving parenting or household management. Contradicting him in front of the children or dismissing his opinions on significant family matters leaves him feeling powerless and insignificant within his own family. This constant challenge to his authority and decision-making can result in a loss of self-confidence and feelings of being devalued.

Demeaning Achievements and Belittling Efforts: Emasculation also occurs when the Wife belittles her Husband’s professional achievements, personal ambitions, or efforts to contribute to the household. I’ve seen divorces occur because the Wife repeatedly made disparaging remarks about Husband’s job, income, or the value of his contributions compared to hers.

Here’s a free tip for a stronger marriage: praise in public and criticize in private. Husbands should be strong enough to accept feedback and critique, but there’s a time and a place. Also, there is only one Pilot on the plane. If the Husband is the leader in the marriage, then he has to make the tough decisions and the Wife has to respect those decisions.

Financial Infidelity

Everyone is aware of sexual infidelity, but not everyone is aware of financial infidelity.

Financial infidelity is when one partner is dishonest or secretive about financial matters, which leads to a breach of trust in the relationship. This can take various forms and has significant implications for both the relationship and the couple’s financial health.

Financial infidelity includes:

Hiding or Lying about Expenditures. This is perhaps the most common form of financial infidelity. It involves one partner hiding their spending habits from the other. This could range from small, frequent purchases to large expenditures like buying a car or expensive electronics.

Secret Credit Cards. One way that partners commit financial infidelity is by getting secret credit cards to hide expenses. Sometimes, they’ll even ignore the payments on these cards, rack up expenses, and then the husband doesn’t find out until the wife is sued by the credit card company for the debt.

Separate Bank Accounts. Ok, technically this isn’t another form of infidelity, but it is one more way that spouses lie about finances. Spouses with separate bank accounts, and who refer to “his money” and “her money” will freely spend money without consulting the other, which can lead to feelings of betrayal. I’ve seen spouses attempt to divide the monthly expenses (wife is responsible for mortgage and husband is responsible for utilities) but this arrangement almost always leaves someone feeling like they are carrying more than their share of the weight.

Here’s another free tip for a stronger marriage. Have a serious discussion with your spouse about finances on at least a monthly basis, and always be honest about expenses. If you want your marriage to last, then you both need to work together instead of against each other.

Lack of Appreciation

Men are often portrayed as unemotional in movies, TV, and in the media, however, that’s a sexist stereotype.

Husbands, like anyone, want to feel valued and acknowledged in their relationships, and it is an emotional gut-punch when they aren’t. This includes appreciation for their role as a partner, parent, provider, or caregiver. When their efforts seem to go unnoticed or unacknowledged, it can lead to feelings of being taken for granted.

Here are some of the ways that men feel underappreciated:

Piggybank Syndrome. Wives who treat their husbands like piggybanks are contributing to the downfall of their marriages. You know the type. The husband gets a raise and she’s already picking out a new purse before the money even hits the bank.

She’s never satisfied with what he’s provided and she always has her eye on a newer car or bigger house. This is incredibly demoralizing to a Husband who has worked hard to provide a comfortable life because the message the Wife is sending says, “You haven’t done enough.”

Household Contributions. Husbands are complaining that their contributions to the household aren’t fully appreciated. Husband gets home from work and Wife immediately starts telling Husband about everything that she does around the house and how little he does.

Although Wife is a stay-at-home mom, and Husband works long hours outside of the home, Wife insists that they equally share all of the chores. Husband, who has his own chores around the house (usually outside chores) feels like Wife doesn’t appreciate these contributions and completely ignores that a lot of his contributions to the house are through his employment.

Child Raising Efforts. This has become one of the most controversial subjects in divorces. Over the last 20 years, far more Wives have started working outside of the home, and far more Husbands have assumed the child-raising duties. That shift in roles has created friction within the relationship. Wives have traditionally complained about Husbands’ failure to participate in child raising duties, but with this shift, Husbands are now feeling underappreciated for their sacrifices in the home.

You might be thinking, “Ha! That’s Karma!” But is it? The Husbands who are feeling underappreciated now are not the same Husbands who underappreciated the stay-at-home Wives. What benefit is there to mocking the Husband of one marriage for the actions of the Husband of another one?

Here’s another free tip for a stronger marriage: show appreciation and gratitude to your spouse for all that they contribute to the marriage. If you both show gratitude for the other’s efforts, then there isn’t room for criticism and resentment. If you want your marriage to last, then you need to stop keeping score.

Sexual Infidelity

This one seems like a pretty obvious one, but it seems to be a lot more prevalent in recent years. Perhaps it’s the rise of hookup apps like Tinder or Bumble, or perhaps it’s the rise of self-deleting messenger apps like Snapchat and WhatsApp.

Regardless of the reason, allegations of wives committing adultery seem to be on the rise. When these secret affairs come to light, the betrayal is real and brutal. The severity of the impact of the adultery can vary depending on a number of factors. If the wife is cheating with the best friend of the Husband, then the impact is multiplied vs her hooking up with a one-night stand.

How the Husband learns about the affair also has an impact. Take for example the Husband who found out his Wife was cheating after discovering her secret OnlyFans page. Not only was she cheating, but she was broadcasting it for the world to see and making a profit from her deception.

In my experience, Husbands are a lot less forgiving than Wives after discovering infidelity, which is why this is still one of the leading causes for Divorce. However, that generality doesn’t mean that all Husbands are unforgiving of infidelity, or that all Wives are forgiving of it.

Here’s another free tip for a stronger marriage: don’t cheat. I really don’t think I could put it in any simpler terms.

His Friends/Family are Getting Divorced

Did you know that Divorce is contagious? Based on the number of divorce referrals I get, it really is. And researchers agree!

According to research, there is a 75% increase in the likelihood of divorce if a close friend or family member gets divorced. As if that isn’t bad enough, there is a 33% increase in the likelihood of divorce if a friend of a friend (2 degrees of separation) gets divorced.

Though, we really shouldn’t find that surprising since having children is contagious, and so is getting married. This is what’s known as a “social contagion.”

Regardless of the reasoning behind it, the fact remains that it is happening. If you show me a Husband with 2 close friends getting divorced, then it probably isn’t long until he’s number 3.

Here’s your final free tip for a stronger marriage: If friends or family within your circle start getting divorced, sit down with your spouse to ask them if they are happy. Just starting this conversation can have a tremendous impact towards avoiding a divorce if you’re both committed to making whatever changes are necessary to save the marriage.

Do what it takes to save your marriage if you can because they say that marriage is grand, but divorce is about 50 grand. It might feel like we’re just picking on Wives here, but stay tuned because we’re going to cover Why Women File for Divorce in the future, and you’ll find that video right here when we do.

–Authored by Matthew L. Harris, Esq.,

Matthew Harris Law, PLLC – Family Law Division

1101 Broadway, Lubbock, Texas, 79401

Tel: (806) 702-4852 | Fax: (800) 985-9479

[email protected]